Dear Ryan Seacrest,

Dear Ryan Seacrest,
I need my own tv show. It's not so much a want, more a need. For both of us.
A bit about me: I am a typical 9 to 5'er (correction 9 to 6'er, that whole "9 to 5 bit" is a major falsity, I'll write to whoever started that lie later), who feels my talents would be better served in front of the camera of my own half hour (could be an hour if the editing was done right) television show. I am willing to do almost anything on my show (well except maybe bite the head off of a pigeon a la Ozzy Osbourne, but definitely don a unitard and walk the streets of Los Angeles with a midget a la Chelsea Handler - I love love love miniatures, but that's a separate letter). I am also great with people and can chase them down in 5 inch heels if necessary (don't ask). I think alcohol is 50% of the food pyramid and carbs should be the other 50. I used to be so ugly I had to sneak up on water to get a drink. I have a dating history that rivals "Another World" (RIP). I can also have an entire conversation with an answering machine or any other inanimate object.

Call me.


P.S: I don't eat meat.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Fondue





We get to the restaurant and order a seafood fondue to start with (because only eating dessert for dinner isn't really healthy by food pyramid standards). Once the formality of that was over with it was time for the fun to start. I ordered the chocolate bliss ( I mean come on, bliss? Clearly that was the only option) - a pool of decadent dark chocolate (none of that bullshit with peanut butter chips in it or nuts or whatever other crap you can throw in to ruin the amazingness that is just - chocolate). 
My birthday passed recently (happy birthday to me! - love love LOVE my birthday) and to celebrate my boyfriend and I went out to dinner for fondue.

Now here's something you should know about me. I LOVE dips, chip and dip, veggies and dip, anything that I can dip - LOVE it. I also love dessert.












When it arrived the waitress asked me if I like roasting marshmallows, umm is she serious? Who doesn't?? Hell yes I like roasting marshmallows! So she lights the chocolate on fire and tells us to roast away. I nearly pee myself with excitement. I managed to roast two before the flame burned out.

Now on to the good stuff. I dunked rice krispie treats, hello dollies, marshmallows, and cigarette cookies in that delicious bowl of goodness. When it got down to the end there was only 1 rice krispie treat for me to finish. It was an "unbutton my top button" moment - thank God I wore leggings. As I dunked the krispie treat in and swirled it around to get as much gooey goodness as possible and put the last bite in my mouth I had a religious experience. I saw baby Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Hare Krishna, and the Easter Bunny dancing a happy dance all around me.

And even though I might single handedly given myself diabetes in that moment I was one happy birthday girl.

P.S: To all of you who think the level of happiness I receive from food is gross - F you.
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