This past weekend I had a FABULOUS girls night with college friends. In trying to decide what to do for the evening we settled on dancing............in the gayborhood (no one knows how to break it down like the gays). Gay clubs are just the absolute best. Everyone dances, music videos are played, drinks are cheap (and strong), and best of all no men hit on you. When we arrived there was a line, we figured "oh we're cute girls we'll go right to the head of it!".....Fuck. Totally forgot boobs and vah-jay-jay get you no one where in this hood. So in the line we went.
As soon as we got in I heard Rihanna's "We Found Love" pumping through the walls. I nearly peed myself with excitement. When we get in I spot the dance floor, strob lights, men in cages wearing tiny leather g-strings, and men with no shirts - - - the mothership. I am home. (How come straight people don't have "shirt optional" clubs?)
We went to a drag show..I saw a man with better boobs than mine. A man tells me "honey, he paid a lot of money to look like you". I get what he was going for, it's almost sweet, but time to leave..... Time to get my dance on.
We make our way to the dance floor, they're playing music videos of pop culture songs - remixed of course, complete with the trifecta: Britney, Gaga, and Madonna. It. Was. Awesome.
As we're jumping, hands in the air, shaking it I am approached by a woman who goes "Are you straight?". I hesistate, it's not that I'm unsure, more that I've never been asked this question before and am pondering what it feels like. Tip: Do. Not. Hesitate. She asks again, this time more firmly, followed quickly by "You must be straight, you're SO HOT. You're just SO hot." A few minutes later another girl approaches and I am asked the same thing. No more hesitation. She asks if she can dance with me and I tell her "thank you, but I'm with my friends". No problem. She just gets in the middle of us and starts dancing. I gotta hand it to her, girls got balls. Maybe she was hoping once I saw her moves I'd discover my inner lesbian.
It seems I'm a big hit with the ladies.......And here I always thought my audience was the gays....I'm really glad to discover I have a broader appeal.
